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Can you wait?

Waiting might sound reactive and inactive in many cultures, particularly modern societies. We now live in the digital era where we can find everything in one click. And we hear many gurus tell us to hurry, grasp our chance, and beat it to our goals.

Are we listening to our voice or others?

These messages come from everywhere: social media, TV, billboards, colleagues, peers, friends, and sometimes family. The motivation becomes overwhelming. We are motivated to move forward that we somehow lose touch with what exactly we are moving forward to and why?

Worse, we become less patient. The speedy pace has built our character to always be on the move, in a rush: to grasp, take, and go. We spoil ourselves with the no-wait marketing policy to the point that we do not know how to wait anymore.

And what happens? Soon we are drowned in credit card bills and things we don’t need. We are in some shallow relationships only to get quick connections and gone.

Be patient, relax, and let go.

Sometimes great opportunities come to people who can wait. It takes a person with a smaller ego and a significant amount of perseverance and commitment to achieve what is meaningful to them. Waiting without false expectations or a fixation on what we are waiting for is the kind of tolerance we are talking about here.

When we think we want something, we might want to try contemplating it for a bit. Don’t bully yourself with propaganda like it’s a now or never.

Trust me: if it’s yours, it’s yours.

However, this does not mean you should not put any effort into anything. If you want something, you work for it. Put your effort into it. And let go of the result. Why? Because you can’t control the outcome.

You can put your labor, time, and energy into what you want to achieve. And leave out the expectation. Let the result speaks for itself. You have done your part: creating cause and conditions. But wait. People who don’t know how to hold back mostly sabotage themselves with haste and temper.

Let’s consider this quote.
“I can think. I can wait. I can fast.”

Siddhartha: A novel by Hermann Hesse

“I can think.” means I can discern and learn. “I can wait.” means I don’t put myself before others. I do not have an oversized ego and am not self-centered. “I can fast.” means I have endurance, stamina, temperance, and perseverance to do any task.

So, it implies we know whether we should wait or not. And sometimes, in some situations, we cannot do anything else but wait.

Since we have to wait anyway, why don’t we wait with mindfulness? Why should we put ourselves in misery with the agony of expectation? Letting go of the need to demand a hasty result will liberate us from our attachment to results.

The Drawback Of Impatience

You see? the source of our miseries is our minds. We are miserable because we expect something we do not have control over. We are unhappy because we do not want to wait. We ruin some relationships out of impatience and oversized egos.

If we practice waiting without expectation, we will find peace in ourselves. Once we have done our best part in whatever we need to, we let go.

How about practicing mindfulness?

I know it is easier talking than doing. That’s why we need to practice insight or mindfulness meditation. Observing our breathing helps a lot for a start. However, if you can’t, try some of these questions.

• Can we control the response of others?
•  If not, why do we want to push it?
•  What can we control here: ourselves or others?
•  What do we expect to achieve by rushing people to get what we want?
•  How does it leave us when we force our ways to get want we want?
• How do we feel when we ruin it with our haste?
•  Are we proud? If so, why? What makes us proud?
•  Are there other ways we can do to show we are still waiting without pushing?
•  What is more empowering: getting what we need or earning what we need?

So the next time you want to rush into something, ask yourself whether it is necessary or you are just following the crowd. And can this wait?

Learning to holdup helps you downsize your ego and make room for empathy and compassion. And with a bigger heart for others, you will find your happiness and inner peace.

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