Question your motif! Is it philanthropic or egocentric?
Question your motif: is it philanthropic or egocentric?
Tonight I couldn’t sleep. My heart filled with guilt and shame. After a heated exchange of opinions in a meeting, I felt shameful about my behavior.
At first, it was about righteousness. But when my anger faded, I realized it was pure ignorance and ego. I was protecting my ideas. But I went overboard.
Time to reflect on my behavior
Protecting one’s idea doesn’t need one to become a bully. After allowing myself on the rampage, I realized it didn’t make me feel good. On the contrary, I felt shameful. I felt lost. I was aware at that moment that my intention was not honorable. That explained why I didn’t feel good about it.
I dive deep into my feeling, asking myself why I did what I did. What was my motif? It occurred to me that I had a negative opinion about the person. So I attacked him as soon as he made his comment. I took it personally to defend the idea and offend him.
So, what have I learned?
First, is it right to attack someone verbally without a good cause? What have I achieved? I did not achieve anything. On the contrary, I left a negative impression on everyone in the meeting.
Secondly, was my intention selfless? Was it about the group’s success, or was it about proving myself right? I knew it was the latter.
The whole thing about my involvement in the project was initially pure. Later, I got attached to my idea and got carried away. It became my thought and creativity. My ego got inflated, and that was when I started bullying others.
Has this experience happened to you? If so, it’s worth questioning your motif before reacting to comments that didn’t please your ears.
Why did you initially involve? Was it for you or others? What does it mean to you if your idea is praised and accepted? Did your behavior help you achieve that? Do you want to play a part or dominate the team? Would it be a team effort or an individual effort? What does that make you? What do you learn from this event? Is your intention philanthropic or egocentric?
A simple tip to scrutinize your motif
Here’s a small tip to identify your motif: philanthropic or egocentric. If there’s even the slightest shame in your mind about your behavior, it could be your motif was egocentric. The disturbing feeling in your mind is merely a sign of guilt after disturbing others’ peace of mind.
Mindfulness always helps
So, before allowing your prejudice to cloud your judgment, take a deep breath. Observe your breathing in and out. You will discover some truth, or you will come to your sense. And you will act civil.
If you have the same challenge as I do, I hope this article helps.
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